and Up Again
The first thing I can remember is the dark basement of my childhood home.
Usually, my parents kept the door locked, but this time it had been forgotten wide open. I was old enough to know how to climb stairs, but young enough not to be very good at it. And the stairs were rather steep - that's why the door was meant to be locked in the first place, and also why I fell and rolled down the last few steps. Disoriented, I wandered around the empty basement for what felt like an eternity. It was my mother who realized what had happened, who found me crying in a corner, and who picked me up in her warm embrace, carrying me back upstairs.
Though a scary experience, this was nowhere enough to put a stop to my adventurous nature; in fact, as I grew older, my love for exploration only grew with me. Our family owned a large plot of land, with forests and ponds, and I often wandered in nature with my younger sister, Kathrine. When it was too cold outside, we played in the basement, pretending to be in an ancient Egyptian tomb or a tropical jungle. In kindergarten, we regularly went on adventures with the others. However, my first real adventure was the time our family moved to the city where I was to begin first grade.
My parents had a hard time explaining to me why we had to leave our home behind. There was talk of the sales decreasing, debt, and a company looking to redevelop the land, but nothing I could get a good grasp on. The decision felt arbitrary, unfair even. The day we were to leave, I went downstairs into the basement to have a good last look at everything. As I explored every corner, I was accompanied by a hum I had only rarely heard before. It echoed through the massive space, full of empty halls that would never be filled and unfinished rooms that would never be completed. That basement was both my first and last memory of the house. When our car drove off, I was not filled by a sense of adventure, but by a new feeling I couldn't quite describe: melancholy.
Our new home was a lot smaller, with only a single floor and nothing to explore. When the summer holidays ended, I was very excited to go to school. The grades weren't terrific, but I quickly got new friends and didn't feel as lonely as in the summer. During the breaks, we played adventurers in the schoolyard, learning to know each other bit by bit. Some of these people, especially Andrew, Reed, and Jess later became good friends of mine. As the most enthusiastic member, I was often the chief adventurer, the brave commander of our fellowship, though I sometimes took that commander part too far. Still, I tried to protect kids from bullying and cheer up people when they were down.
It was in second grade when I realized I was no chief adventurer in real life. I was overcome with terror by something I that had never scared me before: seeing a girl in a hallway. There was just something was different about her. After spotting her the first time, I began noticing her everywhere, and each time time I felt the same feeling. I wanted to talk to her, to invite her to play with our group, but I froze every time she was near.
[camping trip stuff]
[mother in hospital?]
As I stepped out of the house, Kat came up to me and upon seeing my face asked if everything was okay. Shocked at being read like like an open book, I struggled to give a proper response. She offered to accompany me on the walk, which I assented to. As we were leaving, we walked past Andrew idly sitting in a chair. Soon enough the three of us were wandering through the forest.
Kat noted that the area seemed oddly familiar, and I didn't correct her. However, there was nothing odd about its familiarity; this area was very close to the house where we grew up. In fact, that was why I had come here on my walk in the first place: to reminiscence. Finally, the trees ended and we arrived at a large open area.
Andrew was rather perplexed, but thankfully Kat said something funny that resolved the tension. I knew she understood me. As we approached the center of the field, we saw clearly abandoned equipment lying amongst rubble and mud. A degraded sign stood next to us, advertising a "new" development project, with the estimated time of completion years in the past. The logo on the sign was familiar to me as the redevelopment company our house was sold to. It was probably all gone by now, just like our old home — the remains of which lay in front of us.
Suddenly, Kat turned around as if he was looking for something. It didn't take any of us long to realize Andrew was missing, and I was immediately alarmed. "Probably snuck out to have smoke, that bastard," Reed speculated reassuringly. However, moments later, he picked up his phone to call him. It didn't connect.
We waited for a few minutes, hoping that Andrew would soon return. Although these kinds of stunts weren’t uncharacteristic for him — he had always been a lone wolf — we still thought it odd he hadn’t mentioned anything to his own brother, who he was rather protective of. Like the hands of a ticking clock, we circled the abandoned ruins, peering into the forest for any trace of him.
Reed was clearly puzzled, fiddling around with his phone, trying to get even one SMS through. As Kat shouted something about fruitlessness from behind, I stopped to look at her, turning my back on Reed, who was leading our little search party. She was cut off mid-sentence, her expression turning into a deep shock and her legs leaping towards where Reed had just stood. Concerned, I turned to look at Reed, only to find him fully — well, only to not find him.
"Where’d he go? I swear he was-"
"He—he just fell. How on Earth? Let’s leave."
"Fell? Where? I don’t see him."
"Me neither. This place isn’t safe-"
"I can call 911. Just tell me where he went."
"Through the ground, Justin. He fell downwards, through the ground."
"What do you meant through the ground? Are you talking about a hole or something? I don’t see anything where-"
Just then, my questions were answered, though in the most shocking way possible. Kat suddenly started sinking through the ground, wailing her hands desperately. My quick sprint went unrewarded as her hair vanished below the dirt moments before my arrival. Looking at where she had stood, there was only a small dip in the ground, nothing visible a girl like her could’ve fallen through. In shock, I simply stood still, and then started to dial emergency services.
"Justin! Justin!". I was cut off by the sound of my sister shouting. Near instantly, the call I wanted to make receded into the back of my mind, my instincts taking over.
The voice was coming from below. Looking around me, a hole in the ground caught my eye. After hopping over a few obstacles, it became clear this was the basement of our old house, which had seemingly survived the earlier stages of demolishment. Another cry from the basement later I was quickly running down the stairs. Too quickly, as it took just a few steps for me to fall. I braced for the impact that never came.
and Through the Floor
As I opened my eyes, I saw the bare ceiling of the basement, or at least I first thought so. Had this been the basement, I would've seen nothing but darkness; instead, was greeted by fluorescent lights and their eternal hum. I looked around, trying to locate the stairs I had supposedly descended, but they were long gone, replaced by an undecorated cement wall. The layout was doubtlessly similar to the basement, but everything was just a bit off. As confusion seeped in, a question emerged: Was I dead?
Probably not - this was not what the Bible or anyone had told me afterlife would be like. Had this been the afterlife, I have no idea how someone could've known, though. In any case, the place seemed hellish. As I walked around, I found the rooms to connect in bizarre ways, with unexpected turns and corridors leading off to unknown places. What had initially seemed like my old basement turned out to be far bigger. As I wandered towards the room where I had played with Kat as a kid, I could recognize almost everything, but nothing quite lined up.
Just like the good old times, she was standing in the center. This time, she was with Andrew, talking about something which quickly got brushed aside.
"Justin! You're here!" Kat shouted.
"What's here?"
Kat stared at me blankly as if she wanted to speak. No words came out.
Andrew tuned in: "No clue. Wait, where's Reed?"
"Aww man. Haven't seen him."
For a passing moment, I could see desperation in his stare, though soon he twitched his eyes away. It was ironic that just a moment ago I had been searching for Andrew with Reed. Now, Reed was the one we were looking for. And just as Reed had been leading the search for his brother, it was fitting his brother now stepped up for the task. Yet as we walked on and saw nothing, his frustration grew.
"I can't keep track of these halls. Did we go down that one yet? Who knows!"
"Andrew, I know. We searched that one already."
"Thanks, Kat, but I don't get how you can tell."
"As we said, this place is like our basement," I tuned in.
"And I get that, but surely it wasn't this massive?"
"That hallway wasn't part of it. That there neither. No idea where they lead to," I pointed out.
"We've just explored parts belonging to our basement so far. Some twice," Kat continued.
"Okay, sorry, I guess. Just want to find him. I'm better in the woods."
"You were legendary in the woods. I remember when I got lost. You found me, brought me back to camp, and never brought it up again," I reminisced.
"You were a kid, not far you could've gone. I did have to step beyond the edge of the map, no big deal."
"That was then. This isn't the woods and Reed is much faster," Kat pointed out.
"You're right. We might be losing him as we speak. Lead the way, let's not retrace our steps."
Kat and I were slowly running out of rooms and corridors we knew, but Reed was just as missing as before. Quiet but for a sigh or two, Andrew was looking at everything very carefully. We had almost lost hope before finally finding even a trace.
"Those are his shoeprints."
"You sure, Andrew? It could've been me or Kat too."
"Well, show me your shoes," Kat reasoned.
There was no getting around it—the footsteps leading into the corridor were his. I stared down in it and could only make out more hallway and more rooms he could be in. None of this had been here before, none of it had been part of our basement. Kat put my thoughts into words.
"Reed's there," Andrew immediately pointed out.
"You're right. It's just… this unnerves me. What is this place?"
"Kat, surely it can't be that big. We'll reunite with Reed and get out of here," I reassured.
"I guess there's nothing else we can try," Kat said. "The sooner we all get out."
"You know… remember when we played as kids in the basement and went on adventures?"
"I do. But that was just make-believe. This is real."
"What happened to the Kat- forget it. You're right."
"I understand you, Justin," Andrew spoke up. "I always liked stepping off the edge of the map. Finding the way myself."
"You know, when I got lost in those woods years ago, I wasn't all an accident. I had wanted to see what was behind those trees, beyond the rock-"
"You know, it'd be easier to just go." Kat sighed.
Nodding, Andrew stepped into corridor without a word, with Kat and I following right behind. As the corridor continued and the lights from the basement faded, I got goosebumps yet felt a sense of excitement. With little to do, we discussed how long it'd take for us to find Reed and an exit. When Kat suggested we'd be out before nightfall, I oddly enough found myself disappointed.
After what felt like ages of walking, the path split. Even worse, the occasional lights that had lit up our path up to this point ended here. Whichever route we picked, we'd would not have the comfort of seeing clearly.
"Which way would he go?" Kat asked, fiddling with her flashlight.
"I don't know."
"Just pick," I said.
"Left, maybe. Reed's left-handed, so if he was following along-"
"We can probably travel both, I think we've already reached the edge of this place," I said.
"Well, have to go down one first. Unless we split?"
"Let's not. Can't get my light to work." Kat said.
"At least we've got two. Or wait, Justin, does yours work?"
I pointed the light at the left hallway, and stared it down as far as I could.
"Yup."
"Great. No time to waste."
"Wait, what's that?" Kat asked, pointing towards the empty hallway.
Well, it wasn't empty anymore. There was [[entity-3 |a smile]]]. Shivers running down my back, I began to ask whether it was Reed's, but it was obviously it wasn't. His eyes did not glow. He teeth were not that sharp. Kat leaned back, I looked away, Andrew simply kept staring at it. Suddenly, by instinct, Kat leaped away. Only then did the smile thrust forward, and we were all on the move.
The dark corridors were lit only by our flashlight.
Before he could continue, a new figure emerged from around the corner. The man's clothes were well worn, his beard and hair already greying, his face thoroughly scarred. I couldn't tell the man's age — whether he was elderly or whether the years here had merely been hard on him. Andrew stepped back, in a defensive posture. The man didn't seem to mind, quietly evaluating us with a penetrating stare.
"Good morning," he mumbled in a low voice.
"Evening… who are you?" Andrew questioned.
"Rufus, at your service. An ol' bastard 'round here. Nice to meetcha."
"Here? Do you know this place?" Andrew questioned.
"Are you new? Nobody knows this place. After decades, I still don't know it. We call it the Halls. Now, may I have the pleasure to know whom I'm talking to?"
"Right. I'm Kat, this is my brother Justin, and there's Andrew. We fell through the ground and now we're all here."
"Except for Reed," Andrew pointed out.
"His brother, that is," I added.
"Perhaps we'll see him on our way to the Home," the man suggested. "Wouldn't count on it, though."
"Home?"
"The Home, the Early Home. My home you see. Wouldn't call it anything but humble, though."
"Better than nothing," I said.
"Damn right, that's the attitude. Quite useful, you'll find. Now follow me."
I could see Andrew staring intensely down all hallways, not leaving behind any opportunity to catch a glimpse of his brother. It was a long walk, with all kinds of twists and turns, but the man seemed to know where he was heading. He hardly needed to catch a break — the fragile appearance was truly deceptive. This man was sharper and more endurant than I had ever been, exactly the kind of adventurer I had always wanted to be.
"Yo, Rufus," Andrew began.
The man turned around, grinning slightly.
"Did I hear you right? Did you really say you've been here for decades?" he continued.
"I have. What of it?"
"Well-"
"Wait, why?" I interrupted.
"Isn't it obvious?" Andrew asked. "So much peace and quiet, so much space for your own thoughts. There's an upside."
Rufus seemed amused. "Too much space! I feel like I go crazy with just my own thoughts. You're a lucky man if you think it an upside."
"Why live here then?" Kat asked.
"You don't know?" the man said, his confident smile wavering as the silence grew. He continued, "I'm so sorry. Nobody takes it well at first. There isn't a way out."
"What do you mean‽" Kat screamed.
"I wouldn't be here right now if there was. Decades, and I've never heard of anyone getting out. Sorry, it is how it is."
"Are you seriously saying we'll have to spend the rest of our life here?" I asked.
"Yup. But it's okay. You've got a home in the Early Home."
"Maybe the exit is merely well hidden? This place seems massive. I don't understand how you could've explored everything," Andrew suggested.
"I guess that's always a possibility. As far as I know, this place goes on forever. Oh, I thought just like that when I first ended up here! But think about it practically — if we haven't found it in all these years, how big of a chance do you think y'all have? I was slightly younger than you when I noclipped. Better prepare to spend years here."
"There's gotta be a way," Kat whispered.
I nodded in agreement, Andrew retreated into his thoughts, and the man continued ahead silently. While he hadn't been talkative before, it was clear he was now even less so. Perhaps he wanted to give us our own space. Perhaps he didn't know what to say. The silence was awkward and I was glad he broke it as we we arrived at our first stop, a humble camp.
"Now, we ain't there yet, but let's rest."
"Better not be for too long," Andrew said.
"Here, there's no too long, no hurry. You'll learn those are things of the old world. Have a seat."
Andrew sat down blabla
"who made this / what are those letters"
The man pointed at a wooden bench with letters burnt on it.
"NC," I read out.
"The Nomadic Coalition. Haven't heard from them in years, but the Nomads made camps like this to help people survive the Halls. We've taken to using this one as it's along the way."
"What happened to them?" I asked.
"Now, this is a dangerous place, young man, a dangerous place. But I don't know - I hope they're still out there, somewhere."
"Yet you've haven't heard of them in years?" Andrew asked.
"The one thing this place is even more than dangerous is big."
meet the other guy (early home), they stay along a campfire
andrew gets a message from reed
they wake up, andrew is gone
justin is angry, old man reassures him
call, promise to reunite
they continue along
As we walked and walked, and the journey showed no signs of ending, Kat began to grow impatient. She kept asking Rufus when we'd arrive, and the man answered the best he could, always highlighting how he was merely giving estimates. With Andrew teasing Kat, with her loudly defending herself, and with me laughing at the two, we were a rather noisy caravan. I've always wondered whether that contributed to what happened next, whether that lured it towards us. Well, we couldn't have known.
Kat was now leading the pack, though still merely following directions the old man shouted from the back. You could tell she wanted nothing more than to arrive at the Early Home. Suddenly, an old lady appeared in the middle of the path, mumbling something incoherent. Kat immediately approached her.
"Hi, are you lost, can we help you?"
"Kat, come back immediately," Rufus whispered.
"But she might need our help — Hi, do you speak English? Hablas tu Español?"
"It's not a person. Return right now, we'll find another way."
"What do you mean? Oh, sprichst du Deutsch?"
"Kat, now, back."
Kat turned to look at Rufus like he was insane, but took a few steps away from the "old lady" — too late, as it leaped towards Kat, grabbing her foot. Rufus rushed forwards to kick the hand off, only for the "lady" grabbed his foot in return. As Rufus brandished his knife from the belt, and tried to stab the hand, the creature leaped on top of him.
"Run away!" he shouted, stabbing the creature in the chest. I wish his last words could've been different.
We immediately chose a corridor, all three of us running it down. After a few turns, we arrived at a dead end. There was no way away but back through the room with the creature. As we looked at each other, trying to think of what to do, an explosion echoed through the walls, a flash reflecting off the wet concrete. With nothing better to do, we walked back to check.
The man and the monster both lay disfigured and lifeless on the concrete, surrounded by an orange powder radiating heat. From what I remember, Rufus looked strangely calm, though I couldn't bring myself to look at his face for long. I shouted for Kat, who arrived from the other side just as the powder started turning transparent. She couldn't find it in her to look at the man either. Reassuring her, I tried to step through to the other side of the room, but felt a burning sensation on my foot and leaped back. Moments later the pure liquid between us lit on fire.
Kat and Justin promise to see each other again
and Down Memory Lane
Justin takes deep breath and looks down on his notes. There's so much more to tell: countless adventures, countless tragedies, and countless days that initially seemed inconsequential. He thinks about the communities that became the three first outposts. He thinks about The Church. Level 11. The Database. Level 404. Yellow. Backrooms Robotics.
He's not sure if he'll ever get to these stories. He's only got a limited amount of time, and he'd rather spend it on new things than reminiscing the old. It's never been easy to stay in one place for too long. [more here?] For a moment, he feels just as lost as when he entered this realm the first time. He wants to sit in a corner and cry. Justin doesn't.
Instead, he picks up his pen yet again, rests it against his skin yet again, and fills out the faded outline of a letter - yet again. A single letter, M, for the M.E.G, his glimmer of hope.
Though, that's not what the letter stood for, originally. It stood for the name that kept him hopeful for his first years here, before he matured enough to know when to let go. It stood for the name of someone who might not even remember him anymore. He hopes so; it's dangerous to get stuck on one thing for such a long time, like he has done. At this point, he has spent years hoping to forget what the letter stood for.